The Two Worst Directors Ever
I’ve said this so many times, I should have it printed on a T-shirt and walk about town wearing it. That -
Karan Johar is the Worst Director ever.
Even in my wildest of deliriums I cannot imagine liking his genre of movies. I relentlessly pray that such cinema dies as early as possible, like how the equally stupid ‘lost and found’ genre of the 70’s and 80’s finally died its slow and painful death. Johar’s movies are hollow, repulsively extravagant, stuffed with huge stars, and insist on educating us that pyaar is not dosti, dosti is not pyaar, pyaar can arise of dosti, but dosti can’t be forgotten, and pyaar is the ultimate aim of life, and dosti-pyaar-dosti-pyaar-dosti-pyaar-dosti-pyaar, Aaaarrggghhh!!!! Since we are slow, thick and dunce, we must thank Karan Johar for these tutorials again and again - Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham and Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. Besides dosti-pyaar, the angel that he is also wants to convey how ’’its all about loving your parents’’!!
‘Karan Johar movies’ can be a generic term for all movies like Mere Yaar Ki Shaadi, Mujhse Dosti (there, again) Karoge?, Kal Ho Na No. Whoever their directors, since the script and screenplay was Karan’s, so he spawned them. In a sense, he is the mother. The media attention and awards given to his hopelessly mediocre movies is definitely an expensively purchased and well-orchestrated PR campaign. It can be seen through and through.
&
Sooraj Barjataya
I get so angry after watching his movies that I’m driven to desperation. I want to grimace and stab a teddy bear repeatedly with a sharp knife. I want to asphyxiate cute Pomeranians. I want to wring the necks of pigeons and parrots. Don’t ask what I’d like to do to smiling samdhis and samdhans. I want to plant bombs under the dining tables around which 40 family members of his movies eat, laugh and make merry. I want to banish all secretaries, drivers, dafli players, servants, milkmaids who stand in a line and sing ‘dhiktana dhiktana dhiktana’ or otherwise conduct antakshari sessions, or hide shoes in weddings as if it’s the most exciting thing to do in one’s life, or otherwise play cricket matches in those sickeningly sprawling lawns around their mansions, with dogs as umpires. I want to release a dozen wild elephants to run amok all over their family amphitheatres, buses and glitzy palaces, and I want earthquakes to ravage the mythical township of Sundarnagar.
This is the man who started it all. I squarely blame him for the sissification of Bollywood and the regressive values Hindi Cinema and Television suffers from today. The maker of Maine Pyaar Kiya, Hum Aapke Hain Kaun, Hum Saath Saath Hain, and Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon. Whatever will he inflict on us next?
Karan Johar is the Worst Director ever.
Even in my wildest of deliriums I cannot imagine liking his genre of movies. I relentlessly pray that such cinema dies as early as possible, like how the equally stupid ‘lost and found’ genre of the 70’s and 80’s finally died its slow and painful death. Johar’s movies are hollow, repulsively extravagant, stuffed with huge stars, and insist on educating us that pyaar is not dosti, dosti is not pyaar, pyaar can arise of dosti, but dosti can’t be forgotten, and pyaar is the ultimate aim of life, and dosti-pyaar-dosti-pyaar-dosti-pyaar-dosti-pyaar, Aaaarrggghhh!!!! Since we are slow, thick and dunce, we must thank Karan Johar for these tutorials again and again - Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham and Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. Besides dosti-pyaar, the angel that he is also wants to convey how ’’its all about loving your parents’’!!
‘Karan Johar movies’ can be a generic term for all movies like Mere Yaar Ki Shaadi, Mujhse Dosti (there, again) Karoge?, Kal Ho Na No. Whoever their directors, since the script and screenplay was Karan’s, so he spawned them. In a sense, he is the mother. The media attention and awards given to his hopelessly mediocre movies is definitely an expensively purchased and well-orchestrated PR campaign. It can be seen through and through.
&
Sooraj Barjataya
I get so angry after watching his movies that I’m driven to desperation. I want to grimace and stab a teddy bear repeatedly with a sharp knife. I want to asphyxiate cute Pomeranians. I want to wring the necks of pigeons and parrots. Don’t ask what I’d like to do to smiling samdhis and samdhans. I want to plant bombs under the dining tables around which 40 family members of his movies eat, laugh and make merry. I want to banish all secretaries, drivers, dafli players, servants, milkmaids who stand in a line and sing ‘dhiktana dhiktana dhiktana’ or otherwise conduct antakshari sessions, or hide shoes in weddings as if it’s the most exciting thing to do in one’s life, or otherwise play cricket matches in those sickeningly sprawling lawns around their mansions, with dogs as umpires. I want to release a dozen wild elephants to run amok all over their family amphitheatres, buses and glitzy palaces, and I want earthquakes to ravage the mythical township of Sundarnagar.
This is the man who started it all. I squarely blame him for the sissification of Bollywood and the regressive values Hindi Cinema and Television suffers from today. The maker of Maine Pyaar Kiya, Hum Aapke Hain Kaun, Hum Saath Saath Hain, and Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon. Whatever will he inflict on us next?
posted by Premjit at 11:54 PM
2 Comments:
hello prem saab,viewing your writings.
how can u write so much about hum aapke akun hain?
as it consisted of ur favourite favourite actor ALOK NATH.
very bad prem........
he was also completely involved in all those stuffs which you extermely hated....
any ways,great fun reading all the things written by you..
Why don't you start watching "Woh Rehne Wali Mehlon Ki".. On Sahara One.. Its by Suraj Barjatya.. I'm sure you'll love it.. :)
Nirwa
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